I am constantly amazed every time I hear people say that they’re unhappy in their lives, and act as if happiness is this unachievable goal. Happiness is completely achievable and it begins with simply making the choice to be happy.
I deal with many couples who struggle with happiness in their relationships. Couples who are so unhappy that they’re on the verge of throwing in the towel and ending their relationship; couples who have already ended it; and the children of the aftermath of a failed relationship. I also study couples who are blissfully happy in every area of their lives.
What I’ve noticed is that happiness comes down to one basic thing….. your state of mind. Change the way you think and you change your world.
For instance, what if you stopped looking at your relationship as just a relationship and instead looked at it as this adventure of a lifetime that you and your partner are embarking on? The two of you are always ready for change and growth and discovering new things together. Doesn’t that just fire you up a little more?
We are going to learn new systems for living that allow us to raise our level of happiness exponentially. But I must warn you… living in a constant state of bliss can become addictive. You truly become addicted to becoming happy and don’t want to live any other way.
Happiness Is A Choice
The key to happiness and bliss is learning to be happy now, in the present moment, regardless of what is going on in the world around you. Many people struggle with this because of their perception of happiness. They believe that happiness is something that you strive to attain. They can’t just be happy for no reason. They have to wait until something happens and then they will be happy. “I’ll be happy when I reach a certain income level”, “I’ll be happy when my relationship is where I want it to be”… there’s always some “I’ll be happy when”, and this way of thinking implies that happiness is not within our control.
Happiness is a conscious choice. Your level of happiness is absolutely within your control. It’s not defined by some external source or occurrence. We can’t tie our happiness to some outside belief, goal, or event, or expected outcome.
I had a conversation during a strategy session with a woman who lives her life in a constant state of drama and depression. I asked her simply, “Why are you depressed?” She began giving me a full blown story about everything that was ‘wrong’ with her life, but the majority of it centered around her relationship with her husband. She wanted him to be more engaged in their family life and to help her more with the children.
So I asked her, “What would it take for you to be happy?” Immediately she answered back, “I’ll be happy when he starts paying more attention to me and the kids, and starts acting like a father.”
My response to that was, “would you really be happy with that or would you find another reason to continue in your state of depression and unhappiness? Because it seems to me that you use your state of depression as a way of drawing attention to yourself, and as long as it’s serving its purpose of getting you the attention you believe you need, you’re not going to get rid of it.”
She wasn’t thrilled with that answer. Most people aren’t typically overjoyed to hear what comes out of my mouth. 😊
Your happiness, or lack of it, is entirely up to you. Simply choose to be happy. You need to decide that you are going to be happy now, even when things don’t seem to be going your way. Your happiness cannot be tied to your goals, no matter what those goals are. You need to be happy before you attain them.
It’s completely pointless to dwell on the past and allow that to define you, or to allow the anxiety of what could happen in the future to run you. Right here, in the present moment, you are in the field of possibility. You can create absolutely anything from this present moment. How you engage with the present moment will direct your life.
3 Types of Happiness:
- Happiness from some unique experience:
You may experience the fist-pumping elation of winning a sports game, or the heart pounding bliss of incredible sex, or even the absolute excitement of closing a major deal. These states of bliss can be extremely powerful but they are short-lived. Often times, there is a crash or some kind of let down afterwards when the adrenaline wears off. This is simply short term happiness and is not sustainable.
- Happiness from growth and awakening:
This state of happiness is more rare but more enduring. It is the happiness that’s associated by transcendent practices and spiritual practitioners. It comes from reaching higher states of consciousness and it’s incredibly important to human beings.
- Happiness that comes from meaning:
Throughout of lives we often find things like parenting to be incredibly meaningful to us, even though it’s a highly demanding job that requires personal sacrifices from us that go against our short-term happiness. As human beings we find that chasing ‘meaning’ is so important to us that we are willing to sacrifice a certain amount of happiness to attain our end goals.
Meaning comes from having a healthy vision for the future and it’s a critical component of happiness. We have opportunities to find meaning and happiness in many areas of life, but most people don’t look as hard as they could to find the meaning because they get tuned into functioning at a particular level of happiness on a daily basis.
Your happiness IS a choice. You can choose to look for things that make you happy and remain in a state of happiness, or you can choose to allow outside factors influence your states of being. Either way, the choice will always be yours.
We tend to take our happiness and life in general for granted. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. You cannot relive a moment. Choose to be happy and make every moment count. Live life to the fullest and reach the end of it knowing that your life was full of meaning and blissful happiness.
Today’s lesson on happiness comes directly from the Limitless 12 Week Program trainings. If you are ready to live a more fulfilling life, check out Limitless today!
Unlock Profound Levels of Happiness, Love, Authenticity, Intimacy, Soulful Connections & Abundance… In Just 12 Weeks!