Am I In The Right Relationship?
We have spent a lot of time talking about how to recognize a toxic relationship and how to love yourself after you have been in a toxic relationship. Now we also need to talk about what the right relationship looks like.
In order to know if you are in the right relationship, first you need to know what you are looking for so you will recognize it when you do have it. You also need to have an image in your mind of what a healthy relationship looks like, so you can work towards creating it with your partner.
15 Signs You’re In The Right Relationship
- You Respect One Another’s Differences and Use Them to Your Advantage
Think about team sports for a moment. When you are part of a team, not everyone is good at the same things. Someone pitches, someone runs, someone hits, and everyone works together to create a synergy between them while leveraging one another’s skills.
The same is true in a healthy relationship. Both team mates will understand that the other person has skills they do not. Those who are considered “power couples” operate like well-oiled machines in both every day activities, and those that are more rare.
Your personalities even each other out, you have different levels of organization and creativity, while helping to keep things in order. Operating in this way helps your ‘team’ win the game.
- You Argue
I don’t mean you argue non-stop. And not harshly. But if you argue, it’s a sign that you both have your own opinions and are strong enough to stick to them.
If there are no arguments at all in your relationship, it is typically a sign that one or both of you are hiding something, hiding your feelings, or just not being honest about what you really think. You may feel like you are keeping the peace, but none of this is a positive thing in the long run.
- You Are All In
There is no such thing as a part-time relationship. Either you are in or you are out. In the right relationship, both partners are fully committed to each other and to the relationship as a whole. This means sticking together through life’s inevitable challenges and handling them respectfully as a team.
- You Stop Hiding Your Flaws
No one is perfect. And if we are always trying to convince someone that we are, we will never truly be comfortable with them, and they will never get to see our true selves. In the right relationship we are open about who we are with each other and our partner loves and accepts all of us- even the not so pleasant parts.
- You Communicate About Sex
Communication is key to building a healthy, happy, relationship. This doesn’t mean simply communicating while outside the bedroom. Both partners being open and satisfied in your sexual relationship is hugely important to overall happiness. Talking openly about your sexual needs and desires should be something that two mature adults are comfortable with.
- Sometimes, You Don’t Communicate Verbally At All
Do you know what it’s like to be in a room with your best friend and not have to say a word… and not feel akward about it? You are both doing your own thing and enjoying each other’s company?
This is also an important part of being in the right relationship- not having to speak all the time, and sometimes just being together enjoying one another’s company and comfort.
- You Each Retain Your Identities
Maintaining your individual identities is important. You don’t want to lose yourself when you get into a relationship. If this happens, you will find yourself being self-sacrificial and a door mat. You won’t be happy in your situation, and you won’t even be able to communicate your unhappiness to your partner because you won’t even know what you want anymore.
Part of being in the right relationship is recognizing that even though you are a couple, there are things that you enjoy doing alone or with others as well.
- You Respect One Another’s Privacy
While you are a team, you are still two separate individuals who have the right to have your privacy respected. This means no snooping through his/her phone or personal belongings, unless they have given you a dam good reason to be suspicious about something. Otherwise, it’s a complete betrayal of trust that healthy couples do not engage in.
- You Trust Each Other
Trust is a relationship is essential. Without trust there can’t be any of the other positive elements that bring the relationship together. If you don’t trust the person you are with, you won’t be comfortable with them if they choose to go out without you.
If you can’t trust your partner it will eat away at you and the foundation of your relationship, until it eventually crumbles.
- No Conversation or Topic is Off Limits
Couples who are in the right relationship and are secure in their relationship, are going to have to eventually have difficult conversations. If you avoid the hard subjects out of fear of offending the other person, it will cause tension and allow important feelings to be repressed.
While dealing with difficult conversations, it’s important that the conversation is carried out calmly and respectfully with the other person’s feelings and opinions in mind. Approach each conversation from a heartfelt space of loving.
- You Have Accepted One Another’s Pasts
Everyone has a past. Those pasts typically include a significant other. When we are getting to know someone, there are going to be important points in their lives that we were not a part of.
If you demonize their exes or refuse to hear about them, you are cutting out much of your partner’s life. Hear it objectively but realize the present is all that matters.
- You Support One Another’s Passions and Endeavors
The two of you won’t always have 100% of the exact same interests, passions, or life ambitions. But when you truly care about someone, you not only want them to be happy, but to see them succeed in life as well. Stand beside them, not in their way. Whatever they dedicate their efforts to, be their strongest cheerleader.
- You Both Continue Putting Effort In Long After The Honeymoon Stage Ends
Great relationships aren’t about give and take. They are about giving without expecting anything in return because it brings joy to the other person. The effort each team player puts forth should be consistent, and equally recognized and appreciated by the other partner.
When one or both people stop trying, the relationship is doomed to fail.
- You Are Always Open, Honest, and Direct With One Another
Communication is key to relationship success. No one can read your mind, and they shouldn’t have to. Open, honest, unfiltered communication with your partner, knowing that you will not be judged for it, is essential.
If you have this already, then you are in the right relationship.
- You Want to Become The Best Version of Yourself, Without Changing Who You Really Are
This is a clear hallmark of a healthy relationship. Someone should not try to change you just to be able to accept you, or to be in a relationship with you. But, being inspired by them to improve yourself (both for you and for them), is a good sign.
Really great people make you feel like you are already enough, but you can be great too.
Being in the right relationship, like any relationship takes hard work and dedication from both individuals involved. Nothing becomes great overnight. If you’re looking for ways to amplify your relationship, check out our articles Lovers For Life- How To Have the Ultimate Relationship and 7 Master Skills of Relationship