Being part of a twin flame couple isn’t as glamorous as it is made out to be. It can often be the most difficult, heart-wrenching, and stagnating relationship you will ever be part of. And there is so much misinformation floating around about twin flame stages and what to expect. I decided to clear things up for you.
I am part of a twin flame couple. We are not together, not from a lack of love, but simply because we still have growth stages to get through before the reunion can occur. If you are part of a twin flame couple, I can guarantee you will recognize yourself in some of these stages, and you will understand how you need to evolve past whichever stage you might currently be in.
Twin Flame Stage 1: Preparation
Many people disregard this as an actual stage, but it’s an extremely important part of the Twin Flame Reunion process. The preparation stage is everything that happens to each twin flame before their initial meeting in the physical. It involves all of the karmic relationships that each twin flame pre-planned before incarnating to this earth, that would break their hearts and kick start the longing for finding “The One”.
A lot of twin flames decide on a difficult childhood and difficult romantic relationships in early adulthood. Why? A soul will decide to incarnate into more than one body (become a twin flame) and decide to meet the other part of themselves in order to have the most intense growth lessons possible in that lifetime.
Twin flame connections are the most challenging connections when it comes to mastering true love, both for self and for others.
Twin flames only decide to meet one another in the physical when they are very advanced souls who are already well prepared for extremely difficult life lessons that deal with lack of love and abandonment. Their level of soul achievement from their previous lives enable them to handle intense childhood and adulthood karma at the soul level, even if the ego believes they can’t deal with it at the time.
A soul never chooses lessons (karma) it knows it can’t tackle.
For this reason, we chose the twin flame relationship for this incarnation because we knew that we could overcome the lessons and achieve reunion.
If you choose to work through these stages, even if your twin flame is running right now, your increased awakening, surrendering and healing will cause your twin to awaken, surrender, and heal as well.
Difficult karmic relationships prepare the twin flames by arousing the pain and fears of abandonment, manipulation, helplessness, heart break, devastation, possessiveness, and co-dependency.
These karmic relationships and connections cause us to become very defensive. They make us put up walls that we hide behind to protect ourselves. We become extremely cautious about opening our hearts again to anyone else. Many twin flames have given up on love at this stage because they feel as if they can never truly attain it.
This is precisely the time that the twin flame will enter, because they have given up expectations of love which were causing them to try and control their love lives. Giving up on love (or what they thought was love but wasn’t) actually allows love to enter.
The female, who is often the more intuitive of the twin flame couple, will typically have learned quite a bit from her karmic connections. Often, the female will have already had a spiritual awakening of some kind before meeting her twin flame.
For many male twin flames, societal pressure to suppress their emotions, causes them to not have dealt with the pain of their karmic connections. They simply bury the hurt and avoid opening themselves to true love again out of this fear of history repeating itself.
Both male and female tend to blame themselves for the failures of past karmic relationships. They don’t fully understand that their karmic connection happened for a reason. All of the hardships are designed to break their hearts and make them abandon “love” or their false perception of it.
They don’t realize that they were setting themselves up for the ultimate test of unconditional self-love, regaining faith and surrender, all of which are much harder to do once the heart has been shattered so many times.
Only through experiencing these intense hardships and then meeting true love after we’ve already closed our hearts, are we tested so intensely to overcome our fears of getting hurt again. This is where massive leaps and bounds in healing and expansion are achieved.
This is how we expand our love further, through overcoming great hardships and coming out much wiser, more in love than in ego.
Twin Flame Stage 2: Recognition and Awakening
Some twins may experience an instant soul recognition, while others find a gentle realization over the course of time. Sometimes one twin will realize it much sooner than the other (depending how open their intuition is), but in other cases, twin flames come to recognize one another’s souls about the same time. Each twin flame couple is different. No way is either right or wrong.
When twin flames physically meet one another, their souls already know one another even if the twins themselves don’t consciously realize they are twin flames immediately. Their soul and energy bodies know immediately and the heart chakras begin to merge into one.
Twin flames often get along very well in this stage, and some even start a relationship with one another that’s full of love and joy. Even though they still might not consciously know that they are twin flames, they will know that they have never felt so strongly about anyone else in their whole life.
Twin flames share a strong telepathic bond which is there instantly in this stage (and was always there before they even met).
Twin Flame Telepathy- the Language of the heart
As human beings, we are always sharing our energy involuntarily with other people. It’s out of our control. With twin flames this phenomenon is more fascinating. Both halves of the twin flame couple have the same soul resonance, and vibrate at the same energy frequency, their energy sharing transcends to a whole new level. It’s a mixture of empathy and telepathy, which allows them to sense each other’s thoughts, feelings, and wishes.
When we have conversations with our twins, we often find ourselves amazed at how “tuned in” they are. They might finish our sentences or verbalize things we are internally thinking about. They can take words out of our mouths and thoughts out of our mind.
Often times they will call or text us at the very moment we reach for our phone to contact them, or we’ll find a message from them just as we go to write them an email.
As the love grows between the twin flame couple, so does the telepathic connection between them. Telepathy reflects an energetic resonance, so the deeper the oneness and the stronger the bond between twins, the better each will be at receiving and transmitting one another’s telepathic signals.
Our entire being- mind, body, heart, and soul are required to transmit, receive, and interpret these signals. Telepathic signals are sent out through the heart chakra, which acts at a transmitter for mental and emotional information, and it is received through the crown chakra (the connection to our higher selves, the universe, and the divine). The mind then translates the energy received by the connection into a language that we can understand.
When the energy is connected between twin flames, it creates a telepathic communication gateway between them. This is founded on their feelings of intense love for one another.
Before you have telepathic communication, you must open the heart and crown chakras. These chakras often open during a spiritual awakening.
During this stage the twins may not be completely aware of their telepathic bond on a conscious level. One or both may still try to rationalize it into ‘coincidence’.
As each twin grows spiritually, their energetic bodies merge more and more, giving rise to ascension which purifies their hearts. Ascending hearts are opening themselves for the deepest and more sincere communication between one another.
As twin flames merge, they gain new spiritual abilities by sharing the code to one another’s soul. This gives them the ability to sense one another’s energy and thoughts- even when they are physically apart.
Telepathic abilities within each twin may differ, depending on the work each does spiritually. The twin who has advanced further on the spiritual path will have a stronger ability to transmit their thoughts and feelings telepathically to the other twin.
By sharing a telepathic connection with your twin, it allows you each to experience one another’s minds as if it were your own. You might find your twin fulfilling wishes that you haven’t even verbalized, or answering questions you haven’t asked. It’s like two minds becoming one to such a degree that it’s often hard to distinguish between your own thoughts and that of your twins.
As each of the twins becomes further awakened and grows spiritually, and becomes more in touch with their higher self, they will become more aware of the telepathic connection between their own heart and that of their twin’s.
When twins reach surrender, they come to appreciate this means of communication more, and learn to understand its subtleties. This telepathic connection between them becomes an ever-present source of comfort and spiritual nourishment for twin flames.
Kundalini Awakening with Twin Flames
In this second stage, the twins will also experience a Kundalini awakening. Kundalini is an eastern term to describe a potential force that lies dormant in the human body. In Sanskrit, the word “kundalini” means “circular” or “coiled”. The energy of kundalini is described as a metaphorical sleeping serpent that lies coiled at the base of the spine, waiting to be awakened. It’s a primal force that animates all life.
When we awaken kundalini it starts to unify the body, mind, and soul, and sets in motion a process of profound enlightenment and spiritual growth. During this stage of recognizing your twin flame, it’s a subconscious occurrence for most and they live blissfully in its euphoric energies until the honeymoon stage ends and ego tries to take back control in the next stage.
Awakening kundalini expands our consciousness and connects us to all living beings, including, God. When your kundalini is awakened you become able to see the truth of Oneness. A runner twin will feel this deep doubt and later begin to run from its intensity.
Kundalini fire clears any and all roadblocks in its way by making any negative emotions rise to the surface so we can deal with them head on. Once all blocks are removed, the kundalini energy reaches the Crown chakra at the top of the head, to finally meet with the descending flow of energy in an experience known as Kundalini awakening.
As Kundalini melds with universal consciousness and God, we awaken to the conclusive proof of the existence of God and discover how to go through life as divine beings.
Symptoms of Kundalini Awakening
As Kundalini energy passes through various chakras during the awakening process, you may experience a variety of physical symptoms. Depending on which of the chakras is being activated, you may feel hot or cold sensations in different parts of your body, muscle twitches, flushes or fluttering, or tingling.
The symptoms differ as it passes through different chakras along the way.
When it reaches the heart chakra, you may feel chest tingling, a quickening pulse, or a burning sensation in the heart area. You may find your emotions very close to the surface which throws you into fits of crying for no apparent reason, or exploding into fits of anger.
When it reaches your throat chakra, you will experience a burning need to speak the truth, to pour out thoughts and feelings that have been suppressed. This comes with a soreness in the throat, and a tenseness around the neck and lower jaw.
When Kundalini energy reaches the third eye chakra, it will give us headaches and tension around the skull.
When Kundalini finally reaches its way to the Crown chakra and opens it, we are overwhelmed with a full-blown expansion of consciousness. Some people feel a divine light inside them, a sensation of complete and utter bliss, or even temporary full-body paralysis.
You may be inundated with crashing waves of joy, compassion, love, and bliss that’s spontaneous and unpredictable. You might even experience more psychic phenomenon like remembering your past life, becoming aware of auras and chakras, having visions and dreams, or coming into contact with your spirit guides.
Kundalini awakening also causes your creativity to skyrocket and you might find yourself compelled to create art.
The more we focus on removing all old lies and illusions from our depths, until the only thing remaining is the truth that is love, the closer we get to becoming our true self, and joining with our twin flame in God’s light.
This stage ends when one twin’s ego comes back into awareness and starts trying to pick everything apart. The ego tries to eliminate the threat to its elimination and Ego Death. The ego does not want to relinquish control so it begins weaving doubts into the connection, trying to break it apart.
Twin Flame Stage 3: Testing What Is Real
During this stage problems arise between twin flames.
The male twin’s need for logical attraction
Quite often during this stage the female consciously awakens, but the males only consciously recognize that there’s “something” different about their twin compared to other women.
For the male twins, this soul knowing is usually experienced subconsciously right now. The females fully embrace their intuition that he is “the One” and they share a sacred soul connection. The male typically remains in his logical mind so they often don’t trust their feelings at this stage.
Male twins can see logically that they like this girl a lot, or they might even allow themselves to admit they love her, but at the same time they doubt the love is real so soon because he just met her.
The more the female twin is connected to her intuition and sure that he is The One, the more she will open up her feelings to her twin male counterpart. Since he doesn’t know how to connect to his intuition and trust in it, he starts to feel pressured and tons of doubts begin to arise. He often takes her “soul mate” scenario to mean that she is desperate and he begins to feel rejected because he believes she is projecting her fantasies of happily ever after onto any man who happens to come along.
Her certainty actually pushes him into uncertainty during this stage.
Society frowns on men who are open with their feelings and emotions. Most men have huge amounts of emotions bottled up as a result of this. Their emotions are like a snake in the can. They are afraid if they lift the lid, the snake (their emotions) will jump out and get them.
Because of this, men actually feel their emotions MORE when they do come out.
Men tend to bottle up decades of pain, anger, self-loathing, bitterness, sadness, disappointment, fear, abandonment issues, etc. They avoid feeling their emotions too intensely at all costs, which includes love because they know that even this will open the can and let the rest out.
Somewhere in this stage the male often begins to fear the snake that’s been bottled up. They fear their emotions will consume them, pull them under, and they won’t recover if they allow it to happen.
They don’t know how to process and cope with their emotions as they come up because they haven’t been taught to effectively. Emotions are seen as a threat, which means he starts to see you as a threat because you are the one who makes his soul want to open up.
Expressing feelings and emotions often make men feel weak because they’ve been taught to “man up” and that “big boys don’t cry”. This is also why society views women as weak. What society doesn’t understand is that women know how to cope with and process their emotions much better than men, and that facing one’s emotions is actually a sign of great strength, not weakness.
How does the female twin stop her male counterpart from going into such intense uncertainty and defense during this stage?
She needs to hold back a little with her expression of certainty that he is “the One” for her. He needs to see that you are capable of logical thought in order to trust that your feelings are real. If he thinks you’re are running purely on intuition, he then feels your judgment can’t be trusted, which in turn means that your feelings could change any second.
Male twins need to see that you love him for logical reasons too. The things he does for you, the way he helps and supports you, cares for you, etc. Demonstrate that you love him for the actual actions he performs for you. Show him how thankful you are for the little things, and the big things he does for you. Tell him what makes you love him. Then he can see you have logical reasons to love and appreciate him.
The last thing your male twin flame wants is to open himself up to you and then have you suddenly realize you were wrong about him being “The One”. So many women do this. They project a fantasy image of their ideal man onto their current partner and when he opens up and allows himself to become emotionally attached, she leaves him because she suddenly realizes he wasn’t who she thought he was.
Men in general, as well as your twin flame are afraid of this happening. Show him that you are logically attracted to him for what he offers you, as well as emotionally attracted to him, because he won’t be able to open himself up to you fully or to the connection until this point. There will always be this underlying fear that you aren’t loving him for who he truly is and that he will eventually be rejected.
Twin Flame Stage 4: The Running
While twins are going through the Testing What’s Real stage, their egos often battle their soul intuition so strongly that they enter the Running stage. During this stage the ego is winning the battle, but it can’t win the war.
The ego doesn’t realize that if it starts fighting battles against the soul, it will be battling forever, because battles will never end until it learns to surrender to the soul. Because of this, the ego burns out and is forced to lay down and accept the soul’s victory. The ego is not immortal. It only existed from the beginning of this incarnation. The soul is immortal and has existed for eons. The ego can never win over the old soul.
The stage of intense unity with your twin flame is often referred to as “bubble love”, because it seems as if nothing can interfere with this new happiness. The bubble can last from several days to several months, but in most cases, the bubble is inevitably popped by some set of circumstances both internal and external.
Old patterns inevitably drag us back down. The twin flame relationship is unlike anything you have ever experienced before. This causes you to struggle with your usual mental framework and previous ideas of love. As you fail to do this, the gap between you and your twin grows.
In order to be in a twin flame connection you are required to give unconditional trust and love to your twin. But you are inundated with memories of previous relationships, where you opened yourself up and ended up being hurt. You have been rejected, lied to, and abandoned- you learned not to trust so easily anymore.
Now, when your unconditional trust is required of you to set your true love free, you aren’t ready to give it out of fear. Being hurt develops an instinct to avoid potential future sources of pain, and an undeniable reflex to run as soon as pain arises.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and trusting during this time is much harder than ever before. Our twin shines a bright light on the old fears, painful memories, repressed feelings and doubts. When these things surface we want to turn our doubts on to our twin and our love.
We begin rationalizing and telling ourselves things like, they really aren’t our type, we find it suspicious that this person can love us so much while only knowing us a short time, and we doubt our own feelings. We tell ourselves what we feel is a lie. The flight or fight instinct kicks in and we want to run to safety. To an existence that feels familiar.
We tend to forget that as our fears and insecurities rise to the surface, so do theirs. While we are trying to deal with our old patterns, so are they. While we are hurting, so are they. Instead of seeing this, we feel as if they are hurting us on purpose.
This leads us to feel ignored, rejected, and confused. We think that through this, our twin has morphed into a completely different person because we can’t understand their behavior. This might cause us to chase them in an attempt to “fix” them because we feel that we can help them deal with whatever they are going through.
Twin flames cannot fix or heal one another. They can only enable one another to heal themselves. Our twin makes it possible for us to find our wholeness. The real source of our pain is the lack of love for ourselves, which usually comes from our childhood.
Children are innocent and vulnerable. When they have to deal with pain, they are taught to quickly lock the emotions away. Once we meet our twin flame and our hearts are expanded by the sheer power of the love we feel for them, we are then forced to deal with the pain felt as a child. Typically, there is a lot of it.
If we had been taught to acknowledge our emotions instead of denying them, and learned to recognize and identify them as well, we would have grown up with the belief that we are goodness and love at our core. This would make it so much easier to accept the unconditional love from our twins.
So, we try to run– from the pain and from the one we think is the cause of it. We try to distract ourselves with work, entertainment, or other relationships. We avoid our twin because any reminder of them is the reminder of the pain. We let fear take over in place of the love.
Fear is made up of our past experiences, and the pain we have felt previously. It teaches us to build walls, protect ourselves, make plans, lie to other people and ourselves.
When we encounter our twin who forces us to face parts of ourselves that we have been denying, we respond with fear. We believe that unconditional love comes with expectations.
This divine love we discovered when we met our twin- that is real- it’s the only real thing. We have to learn to center ourselves in it, until we can treat everything that happens with acceptance and unconditional love.
Until we learn to love ourselves, consider ourselves worthy of receiving unconditional love, and open our heart to it, we won’t be able to accept such love from anyone.
If your twin flame is a runner, there are things you must remember to get through your separation from them. Runners run because of the pain they feel but refuse to acknowledge. They aren’t running from you, and their goal isn’t to hurt you. They are running from themselves, and the issues they think they can avoid if they don’t have to face you again.
The run is actually futile, because the love in their heart cannot be denied. You can’t fight it any more than you can fight God himself. The twin flame connection doesn’t just die over time or because you deny it. It continues to grow even while you are separated until it finally consumes the runner completely, and drives the twins back together.
Twin Flame Stage 5: Surrender
In stage 5, when one twin is running from the connection and the other is chasing them instead of looking inwards, there comes a point where the chaser becomes exhausted and doesn’t want to continue the pursuit anymore.
They come to a realization that it isn’t working. They end up feeling bad about themselves, desperate, needy, weak, hopeless, and rejected. So they give up.
When the chaser reaches the point where they can’t continue chasing anymore, because it’s become an even bigger problem than the fear of losing their twin, they move into the surrender stage.
Once the runner realizes that any kind of running is futile, they will also move into the surrender stage.
Surrendering means doing the inner work on you while handing over the outcome of your connection to God. It’s not about convincing yourself “if it’s meant to be then it will be” while refusing to work on your own healing. That’s denial, not surrendering.
True surrendering is knowing that you can’t control the outcome by trying to force the reunion in any way. We need to master ourselves, master our own healing, overcome the ego, fears, the illusions, and master unconditional love. These are the only things we can control.
While we are working on ourselves, we must learn to trust in God that the union will happen as a result of us working on healing ourselves and giving our twin flame the space to work on themselves as well.
When we surrender our connection to God, we learn that we can and do love our twin whether we are physically united with them or not. We love them even if they are letting ego control them.
Some twins are tempted to just sit there waiting, and waiting, praying for their twin to change so they can reunite. Sitting and waiting for your twin shows them that you are always there no matter what so they aren’t motivated to do the work.
Surrendering is not abandoning your twin. It’s simply assisting them to work through their problems, which will help them. You’re not giving up. You are simple recognizing that waiting at their feet is actually stopping them from healing, because you are giving them an easy way out of facing their fears.
Instead of getting upset and continuing to give away your power, you must love and respect yourself, and love and respect your twin by giving them distance, surrendering the connection to God and stop waiting at their feet.
By doing this, you love yourself by creating healthy boundaries and you love your twin flame by snapping them out of their ego illusions. You no longer allow them to sit idly in their illusions so they don’t have to overcome them in order to reach you.
Surrendering is the ultimate test for twin flames. Are you willing to let go of your fears (illusions) of separation and trust in the truth of Source to bring you back to oneness with your Twin? Are you able to release your fears of abandonment so you can stop trying to control the outcome? Only when you truly trust, can reunion occur. If you don’t trust, you are still living in the illusion of separation.
Many times twin flames fear that if they walk away, then their twin will never make the necessary changes to come forward and unite. They fear that if they walk away then they will lose them. If this does happen, then they were either not your twin flame, or they aren’t willing to heal themselves enough for reunion.
Surrendering means living your own life. If you are waiting around for them, then you are not ready to unite either.
The time will come when it will feel completely natural to surrender and give up control. Your soul will have reached the point where it will naturally want to live authentically, and interacting with your twin flame in a way where there is ego blocks will feel exhausting. You will naturally feel your soul pulling away from your twin flame if he’s not ready to interact with you through his heart center.
Your soul will be urging you to surrender and walk away from waiting on them because the universe wants you to release any co-dependency on your part, as well as make your twin flame face the pain that arises when you distance yourself, so they too can heal their own co-dependency.
There will be a shift inside of you when you truly surrender. It will feel like liberation. You no longer have to worry if you are doing things right or wrong. You are centering yourself and handing things over to God, and handing the outcome to the Universe.
In order to recognize the truth of your soul, you must confront the biggest lie that is holding you hostage– the idea that you can be anything other than your true self.
Your heart draws its strength from the love that permeates your soul, and will prevail when that love is stronger than your fear of your ego. Once you slay the beast that guards your true self, you will take ownership over your ego and reclaim your power. This is an inevitable step on the way towards becoming whole again.
Despite our fears, there comes a point where our only option is to surrender to God’s will and follow his guidance. Regardless of what your twin flame is doing, or whether you’ve been in contact with them, or whether they even believe in the connection between the two of you, you have to accept the truth of what has always been in your heart, and let your love shine through.
When you do this, you are allowing yourself to love your twin without expecting anything in return, and your very being becomes this love- and that’s where the miracle lies. When you do this, your twin will do the same, and your eternal love is renewed.
Having a personal relationship with God is what’s absolutely needed for reuniting with your twin, because this union is orchestrated by divine will. This is why it’s imperative that we come to the point of surrender on our own.
As we discover things about ourselves and accept the truth in our heart, as we surrender to God’s will, let him guide us, and align ourselves with his plan for us, we will be led to our twin flame, and to the union.
Many twin flames get wrapped up in the “when?” When will we unite? And they get stuck in feelings of disappointment, frustration, loss, anxiety, and doubt.
If you’re feeling these emotions, then you’re not trusting God. If you are feeling loss, disappointment, frustration, anxiety, or doubt, then it shows you still need to give yourself love because you have forgotten your oneness.
If you look back at your past, everything that has happened up to this point has had a purpose, to bring you to this present moment, to awaken you, to put you on this path to where you have met your twin for the ultimate healing journey.
This is no accident. This is God’s plan. Everything that has happened in your life has been a stepping stone to help you get to greater consciousness, to raise your frequencies, to bring you back to love and remind you that you were never separate from it.
When you are spending your time over-analyzing everything, then you are not trusting God’s plan. When you are full of worry, you are not trusting God’s plan. When you choose to see EVERYTHING as a learning opportunity, then you are living and trusting God’s plan.
Twin Flame Stage 6: Illumination and Reunion
Once we have mastered surrendering, we can move into illumination where we awaken more and the veil of illusion falls away. Your twin flame will mirror this too because whatever you experience, so will they.
In this stage, the ego is no longer in charge and the twins are living in their soul truth. This allows their frequencies to rise even more and ego is no longer getting in the way of their soul plan unfolding.
They no longer see themselves as separate, but realize they were always one, it was just their ego’s which blinded them from it. Their soul path puts them in each other’s lives again where they are now at a stage where they can handle the connection and the reunion begins to transpire.
At the stage of reunion both twins have balanced all of their karma and learned all the lessons and are now open to the infinite rewards of their everlasting unconditional love.
This will be a physical reunion but also their energies will be perfectly aligned and flowing within them both. They can now revel in their eternal love and continue on their mission to spread love and light to the rest of the planet.