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Love is a word that we tend to toss around unconsciously in our day to day encounters. We love a certain food, a certain clothing style, a certain fragrance, our children, or whatever it may be. We meet a new person and our world begins to change and we tend to think that what we are experiencing is true love. More often than not, we are wrong.
Our cultures, the media, and movies play a huge role in distorting the realities of love and what it truly is. There is a huge difference between the heart pounding adrenaline rush that we feel in the beginning of a relationship, and love. That adrenaline rush we feel is infatuation, not love.
True love and romantic love are not the same either. While we almost always associate true love with romantic love, true love is love in its purest form, while romantic love needs sexual attraction to stay alive.
Love isn’t sex either. A relationship built on lust can only last as long as the two people are physically close and find one another sexually attractive.
Love isn’t a feeling or an emotion. While real love is often accompanied by strong feelings and emotions, love is a choice. It’s a commitment. It’s a devotion to love another person unconditionally. Although emotions, feelings, and sex will be a part of the relationship, a lasting, healthy relationship cannot be based on these things.
The problem with most relationships is that two people will come together, they will be intensely infatuated with one another to the point where they blind themselves to the little flaws and quirks of the other person, and as soon as those rose coloured glasses come off and we start to see what we ignored before…. The trouble begins. Suddenly this person in front of you is no longer ‘perfect’. The smallest of things begin to not just annoy you, it actually starts to infuriate you. You start to notice more and more of the things that you can’t stand or tolerate. Soon, that ‘love’ turns cold and the relationship ends. It was never love to begin with.
True love knows no depths. It stays with you. It isn’t ordinary and it doesn’t come around often. It’s the kind of love and affection that you have for someone that isn’t bound by typical human behavior. Human behavior is simple to understand and is often very ego-based. When someone hurts you, you get angry with them. When someone shatters your ego or humiliates you, you want revenge. This is human behavior, not love.
When you experience true love with someone you, primal instincts and behavior changes only towards them. It transcends typical human behavior and makes you a better person, especially towards that special someone.
Our culture, the media, and movies have taught us to look at physical appearances, popularity and wealth when judging our relationships and love. All of this is superficial and fades away.
We are taught that sex is love. Sex is important in a loving, committed relationship, but it is merely the completion of the binding of two people within that commitment.
At some point in the relationship, as you grow older together, all of the illusions of being human are going to fade away and what you’re left with is your partner. If you lost everything tomorrow and were completely penniless, would you still love that person? If they were unable to give you sexual pleasure, would you still love that person? If they had absolutely nothing left to give but love, would that be enough for you?
If you’re in a relationship where both of you truly understand each other and feel compatible with one another, and most importantly, love each other, then chances are, you’re experiencing true love.
When two people can understand each other and relate to each other, they will start to love each other’s company and start to become inseparable. Eventually, this bond will turn into a pure and selfless love that is called true love.